Its summer time here. I think this is the only respite the insect kingdom gets over here from the hell-freezing winter. But these bugs aren't much for our privacy. You keep your window open for a few minutes and in comes a fluttering bug flying like a torpedo that has lost its target! I know, for PETA enthusiast I'm probably the personification of the bad guy from "Saw". But let me tell you how I killed a bug. Now, I'm sitting quietly in my seat somewhere and this nasty looking ghastly bug comes there and starts its asinine dance. If you have noticed, you never see two bugs together, Graceful movements have been used as a means for attracting the other sex, but I'm very sure, those bugs probably scare the insect-shit out of each other with those ballistic movements too. Anywho!! this bug comes in front of me and is persistently trying to catch my attention. I don't know why else a smaller organism would pompously go around purposely under the spotlight of a larger animal. I mean, humans never go in front of giant gorillas and elephants and move around in circles. We know, Sooner or later, that thing is going to crush our 206 bones into a 2060 pieces. So, here i was trying to avoid it, following the live and let live policy but that bug just wouldn't quit! By now, i have used a flip flop, a book, a sock, my foot and even a block of ice once to shoot the bug. But here's what I did this time. I found a can of shaving foam next to me. I filled the cap of the
can with the foam a little more than half and placed that cap on the bug. The bug amused first, by the avalanche like foam, landed its hair-thin claws on the it. On observing closely, i saw it tasting the shaving foam. As you know the foam bubbles eventually get burst, and it seems the bug felt itself sinking inside the foam and tried to fly away. But in its desperate attempts to fly away, it flapped its wings too hard and the wings got stuck on the soapy foam and couldn't get out. After seconds of struggling, it finally gave in and died peacefully on a cloud of foam....
Do let me know if you have any innovative ideas to kill them. A plain book and a foot in its ass doesn't do it for me anymore.
For this Brave New World of cricket, we have IPL and England to thank
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*This is the 24th installment of The Rationalist, my column for the Times
of India.*
Back in the last decade, I was a cricket journalist for a few years....
4 years ago
4 comments:
Foamy Murder .. LOL
u can use a book to slap it and wen itz semiconscious tie it in a thread and hang it over a lighted candle with a good tolerance level ...keep fluctuating the tolerance levels :) :)
you know, I highly misjudge my strength. hence I wouldn't know how to knock a bug unconscious!
I once tried to give a tap on the back of my childhood friends head and I ended up putting it through a wall!!
my friend 'buddy' will testify that :D
My best solution. (and I just killed another with it)
Coffee cup. Wait for it to go to flat surface, and then place the coffee cup on it.
Slow torture, and painful death in the darkness.
haha...good work raj...
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